Lady Doritos: "Not As Sexist As It Sounds!"

So listen, I know I haven't blogged since December ~~because I'm a lazy sack of sh*t~~ because I was getting my laptop fixed ~~but who even reads this~~ but I'm ~~blaaaaaaaccckkkkkkkkkkk~~ back. Like a Pheonix, I only rise from my ashes during Black History Month.

Indra Nooyi, chief executive of PepsiCo, made some high key sexist remarks about the way woman want to enjoy a bag of Doritos on a "Freakonomics Radio" podcast on January 31st. She said, "they don't like to crunch too loudly in public and they don't lick their fingers generously, and they don't like to pour the little broken pieces and the flavor into their mouths." Well, Ms. Nooyi clearly you haven't ever seen a round of sorority recruitment because my sisters would dispell a theory like that in a matter of seconds, #SigmaServesDoritos.

Although PepsiCo, which owns Frito-Lay, the manufacturer of Doritos now denies this, when she was asked if Doritos was planning a male and female version of chips she responded, "we are looking at it and we're getting ready to launch a bunch of them soon. For women, low crunch, the full taste profile, not have so much of the flavor stick on the fingers, and how can you put it in a purse? Because women love to carry a snack in their purse." Yes, because the biggest problem facing women today is how we're going to fit a bag of Doritos into our purses with all our tampons, makeup, rainbows, and unicorns. #Priorities, amirite?

I'm sure some women upon hearing this news were like, "What?! OMG! The Women's March worked, #prayersanswered," but most women took to social media to discuss their disgust (see what I did there, #alliteration). All jokes aside I'm sure it’s safe to say that what most of us are looking for is equal pay, not being treated like second citizens, and not being pigeonholed to gender norms that now dictate how I'm supposed to eat a bag of freaking chips, but what do I know. I am just a woman after all.

Because of the backlash, unfortunately, I think it's safe to say that if Lady Doritos were happening it's already been canceled. I imagine somewhere there are about a million of these stale ass, 77% less taste ass chips collecting dust in some factory.

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