I recently got wind of a Snapchat video sweeping the sorority/fraternity world of UNH's Alpha Chapter celebrating their bid day. I'm no stranger to this world seeing as I was a part of a cult sorority. I was a recruitment director so I get the hype. The snap was only about 8 seconds long but, MAN did these biddies make a royal mistake. Or so I thought.
Without any hesitation they sang "Now I ain't saying she a gold digger, but she ain't messing with no broke n*gga..." No truer words have ever been spoken by my mans Kanye West. I immediately headed to the comments section as I do in situations like this and a lot of them seemed to be in favor of these girls. Are we really still debating this while Nazi's and the KKK are openly taking to the streets in 2017?
Now I gotta vent a little bit because it seems like white people still don't understand that saying/singing/rapping "n*gga" is not an okay thing for them to do. I know it's totally our fault for putting it in the lyrics of songs that are just so damn catchy you can't help yourselves. I know I'm racist af for bringing it up because "free speech," and let's disregard the fact that Kanye West is black (though it's debatable nowadays). But, I've thought about it and you know what maybe no one has explained it to you so I've come up with a little list Y'all can refer if you still feel like it is your God given right to say the word.
Don't Say N*gga If:
1. If your mouth gets stained red after drinking Koolaid.
2. If the minute it starts to get warmer you have conversations with your friends about how "black" you want to get this summer.
3. If you enjoy pumpkin spiced anything.
4. If you've only started to use coconut oil within the last two years.
5. If you've ever had to explain to someone how you gotta burn first before you can tan.
6. If you have good hair and are sometimes referred to as Becky.
7. If you think KFC is better than Popeye's
8. If you don't change the pitch and tone of your voice when you answer the phone or go on a job interview.
9. If you walk through the house with shoes on.
10. If you've never felt the wrath of God himself when you hear the garage door open and you forgot to defrost the chicken.
11. If it looks like you're taking a dump in your pants whenever you dance.
12. If you've ever called your mother a b*tch and lived to tell the tale.
13. If you can take a shower, swim, and etc. and not immediately have to put on lotion.
14. If you're in your 20s but look like you're 40.
15. If you "don't see color" but literally want to flip a table when Starbucks rolls out their holiday cups.
16. If you can't even.
17. If you have a hard time clapping on the beat.
18. If you think salt is a spice.
19. If you think ketchup is a sauce.
20. If you want to MAGA.
21. If you've ever (unsuccessfully) tried to boycott Beyonce.
22. If you can't go more than two days without washing your hair.
23. If you've been to a Disney theme park more than once.
24. If you've ever said your hair was nappy when it was just a tad frizzy.
25. If you've never played a game of "Gunshots or Fireworks."
26. If you've ever asked your mom for McDonald's and she didn't ask you if you had McDonald's money.
27. If you've ever told someone {insert race} they're not like other {insert race} people.
28. If you think the national anthem only has one verse.
29. If you think the Confederate flag is a symbol of southern pride.
30. If you're constantly trying to remind everyone about free speech but throw a b*tch fit anytime there's a protest about racial inequality, women's rights, gay pride, science, and etc.
31. If you have family members that might be sleeping with each other.
32. If you have ever slept with said family members.
33. If your ancestors might have owned people.
34. If you don’t low (high) key fear for your life anytime you are around a cop.
35. If you own a white hood or think Nazi's can be very fine people.
2. If the minute it starts to get warmer you have conversations with your friends about how "black" you want to get this summer.
3. If you enjoy pumpkin spiced anything.
4. If you've only started to use coconut oil within the last two years.
5. If you've ever had to explain to someone how you gotta burn first before you can tan.
6. If you have good hair and are sometimes referred to as Becky.
7. If you think KFC is better than Popeye's
8. If you don't change the pitch and tone of your voice when you answer the phone or go on a job interview.
9. If you walk through the house with shoes on.
10. If you've never felt the wrath of God himself when you hear the garage door open and you forgot to defrost the chicken.
11. If it looks like you're taking a dump in your pants whenever you dance.
12. If you've ever called your mother a b*tch and lived to tell the tale.
13. If you can take a shower, swim, and etc. and not immediately have to put on lotion.
14. If you're in your 20s but look like you're 40.
15. If you "don't see color" but literally want to flip a table when Starbucks rolls out their holiday cups.
16. If you can't even.
17. If you have a hard time clapping on the beat.
18. If you think salt is a spice.
19. If you think ketchup is a sauce.
20. If you want to MAGA.
21. If you've ever (unsuccessfully) tried to boycott Beyonce.
22. If you can't go more than two days without washing your hair.
23. If you've been to a Disney theme park more than once.
24. If you've ever said your hair was nappy when it was just a tad frizzy.
25. If you've never played a game of "Gunshots or Fireworks."
26. If you've ever asked your mom for McDonald's and she didn't ask you if you had McDonald's money.
27. If you've ever told someone {insert race} they're not like other {insert race} people.
28. If you think the national anthem only has one verse.
29. If you think the Confederate flag is a symbol of southern pride.
30. If you're constantly trying to remind everyone about free speech but throw a b*tch fit anytime there's a protest about racial inequality, women's rights, gay pride, science, and etc.
31. If you have family members that might be sleeping with each other.
32. If you have ever slept with said family members.
33. If your ancestors might have owned people.
34. If you don’t low (high) key fear for your life anytime you are around a cop.
35. If you own a white hood or think Nazi's can be very fine people.
If anything on the list applies to you all I'm saying it's just one word. I think you'll live if you remove it from you're vocabulary. If nothing on this list refers to you than by all means use the word all you want, you have earned it! Because lastly and most importantly don't say n*gga if:
36. If you've never been called a monkey, ape, baboon, ghetto, ratchet, gutter rat, bird, spic, chink, tar baby, crow, colored, and/or n*gger.
I'll tell you what though. Eradicate systematic and institutionalized racism from American Society and maybe we can revisit this conversation.
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